Update on Max

Max has been in our home for 7 months, now. We love this little man so much!! He is amazing. I have not included a lot of his story on this blog... I am not sure how much to talk about. Things are so unsure. It has been really hard, in that respect. It is emotionally draining. I'll start from 6 months ago...

About 6 months ago, when we had had Max in our home for 3 weeks, his Birthmom (BM) called my husband and I and asked us if we would adopt this little guy.  We told her of course we would. We love him so much. We thought it would be easy once that decision had been made. It wasn't. Birthdad (BD) was not in the picture at that point. However, because Max is in the foster system it isn't a cut and dry situation. There have been a lot of hiccups. Finally in July when it looked like everything was going to work out for a speedy adoption, BD came into the picture... not to say he wanted the baby, he doesn't, but just to let us know that Max in Native American!! Which would be fine, but the Native Americans have their own laws, it was super stressful. The case workers told us everything would still work out, but it would just take MORE TIME!!  We don't want more time, we want to make him ours so that we can make sure that no one can take him from us. He ONLY knows us. He doesn't have visits with his BM or BD. It is JUST US! I am the only mom he knows. He loves his brother and sisters and they love him. He loves his dad, the only one he knows- the one who wakes up all night with him and early every morning. 

So, it has been an emotional rollercoaster. There have been a lot of ups and downs, so many more than I am including in this short blog.... SO MANY!! At some point I will write a more detailed history, but for right now, know that things are going well. This process is going better than I had hoped a month ago. We know he is our baby. I love him so much. From the moment they brought him into our home and placed him in my arms there was an immediate attachment that I have never felt with anyone except my other children. When he was placed into my arms I felt so complete. I had felt like a piece of me was missing. My arms were aching so badly for this little guy. It was like I could literally feel a piece of me was not with me. I knew he was here, on this earth, and that he was supposed to be with me (it was a very spiritual experience.... from the DAY he was born I had felt this huge urge that I had a missing baby somewhere- it was causing sleepless nights, praying and tears and so much anxiety, I don't know how to describe it, but it started the DAY he was born). I know this sweet little baby was mine before we came to earth. He was so brave and had so much faith in me to know that I would find him. He completes this family. We need him. We love him. He brings so much peace and happiness to our home. I will give more updates, but probably not for a while. I get a lot of anxiety every time I picture him not in my life, even while I type this, I am having a hard time not crying as I picture him being ripped out of our lives, but I have faith that everything will work out. I pray. A lot. I know that he is my baby.